Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
