so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
