Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
...so i touched it.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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