due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
