I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
