it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
