were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
