I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
