oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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