Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
