Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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