this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
