oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
