Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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