Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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