Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
