Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
