You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
