Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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