Ambien. No doubt about it.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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