Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
