My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
