I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
