Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize