I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
