i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
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