Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize