I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize