I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
