Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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