CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
