I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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