Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize