Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
