Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
