it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
