Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize