none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
