I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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