There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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