Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
