...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
