And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
