I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
