I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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