im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize