the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize