Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize