Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
