just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
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