Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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