I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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