it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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