New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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