The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
