so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
