Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
