Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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