Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
