Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
