I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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