Whats the glycemic index on semen?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize